TEC Resource Center

By

Why Didn’t I Just Say Something?

speaking up in the workplace, management training, communication trainingOne of the most frustrating and disappointing thing that happens to us in the workplace is not being able to communicate what we are feeling.  It’s often hard to figure out the right way to say something without feeling like you are going to upset the other person or worse, threaten your job.  Sometimes we avoid conversations simply because we think it’s not worth the argument we are sure will ensue.

But the truth is, if we could learn how to communicate our thoughts and needs professionally, in a non-threatening way, we would feel better and get our needs met more often.  And how good would that be?

Here are a few mistakes we make, instead of being assertive:

  • We tell someone else – which, by the way, does no good because they are not the person who can have an effect on what we need
  • We escalate the problem – sometimes others jump on the bandwagon and now everyone is upset
  • We become angry, depressed or anxious – totally unhealthy
  • We take our feelings out on someone else – totally misdirected
  • We cheat the relationship by not addressing a problem

We can turn this around by using a simple 3 part approach for creating assertive statements.  Whenever I feel like I really want to say something but I’m anxious about how the other person will take it, I use this technique.

Part 1

            A “nonjudgmental” and brief description of the behavior you want changed.

Part 2

A statement of how the behavior makes you feel.

Part 3

A description of the effect the other person’s behavior has on you.

Once you get used to it, it becomes easier and easier.  So an example would sound something like this:

“When you interrupt me before I am finished speaking, I feel rushed and cannot remember what I was going to say.”

In my head I think, “When you…. I feel….. so what?

When you don’t attack people and simply state the facts, and then give them the opportunity to understand how you feel, they usually think about it, instead of going right on the defensive.  And by adding the “so what” or the effect the behavior has on you, it tells them why they should care or why it matters.  Try it.  These statements are harder than you think to form, but once you get used to it, you’ll find they are much more effective than staying quiet or getting into an argument.  Way more professional and hard to argue with.

Thoughts…….. Contact me at abbe@TECResourceCenter.com

By

If you would like to speak to a real person press 1. Thank you for pressing 1. No one is here right now…..

Did you ever get bounced around on the phone when all you wanted was to just talk to a live person?  Of course you have.  How frustrating!

It’s no different for people who are calling for service.  It’s their job to call when they need service.  And they are usually frustrated already because something isn’t working. Many times we avoid answering phone calls because we are busy or just don’t want to deal with the person on the other end.   Here are a few reasons to pick up the phone.

Since people tend to get frustrated if they have to wait too long to speak to someone when they need service, chances are their emotions will be running higher when you, or someone else, get there to do a service call.  And let’s not discount the fact that you may be able to solve their problem right on the phone and eliminate the need for a service call.   Every interaction with our customer is a chance to build the relationship.  It’s a chance for you to get personal.  Ask how their day is going.  Ask if they have interesting plans for the weekend.  Share something about yourself.  Many times your customer is your co-worker.  Let them know you are here to help.  The better the relationship, the more understanding they will be when things don’t go smoothly.

Remember to speak in customer focused language.  That means focusing on what’s important to them, not you.  You will have a better experience if you think about the situation from the customer’s points of view.  So instead of saying, “I need to open a work order before we can come up to look at the equipment,” try, “I would like to get up there as quickly as possible to get the equipment up and running for you, so let me get some information from you to get this going.”  Same basic idea, but the second way focuses on what’s important to the customer, getting the equipment up and running, not your work order.

Remember, if you think of every phone call as an opportunity to help someone, you are more likely to stay calm and not personalize, even if someone seems aggravated. Remember, most likely their emotions have nothing to do with you; they are just looking for help.  So go ahead, pick up that phone.

Thoughts…….. Contact me at abbe@TECResourceCenter.com

By

Am I speaking English?

how to speak in a way your employees will understand

 

Do you constantly feel like people are not doing what you told them to do?  Are you frustrated with the results you are getting from your staff?  Do you ever wonder if you are speaking a different language than everyone else?  Well….stop doing what you’re doing.  I don’t even care what you are doing.  It’s time to do something different.  When you reach that level of frustration, you have to pause and think about an alternative approach.  I’m sure you know the definition of insanity……doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  So stop the madness.  Try something else.  Here are some tips on how to get your staff into alignment with you and make sure you get the results you want on a daily basis.

#1 – Set a clear expectation.  That means it’s clear to your staff, not just to you.  How do you know?  Ask them to summarize the expectations.  It may sound like that would be condescending, but not if you use phrases like, “Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page……”  or, “I know sometimes things are clear in my head, but not so much when they come out of my mouth, so someone run through the process as you understand it…..”  This lets people know that you are open for questions or clarification before people start running off in different directions.

#2 – Make sure they have what they need.  Set your people up for success.  Take the time in the beginning to ask open ended questions so they have to think about how they can be successful instead of just yessing you to death.  So don’t say, “Are we good?”  They will probably say yes, especially if they think that’s what you want to hear or they know you are really busy.  Rather ask, “What resources do you think you will need to accomplish this.”  “What do you think could stand in the way of accomplishing this?”  Let them know that failure is not an option, and that you are there to help.

#3 – Listen.  Be prepared to make your staff succeed.  That’s your job.  They fail; you fail.  Check in before it’s too late.  Depending on the level of your staff, set reminders for yourself to have a brief touch point meeting to find out if they are experiencing any roadblocks along the way, but let them know that it’s their job to keep you updated.  If things are not running according to plan, listen to what your staff has to say with a truly open mind.  Help them get back on track, but let them know that the task still needs to be accomplished as discussed.  If you need to make adjustments to the deadline, that’s ok, as long as it is not because the staff was not doing their job.  If that’s the case, then your problem is not alignment, you need to do some performance management.

Creating alignment takes open and honest two-way communication.  You may think you are very approachable, because that is your intent, but are you?

Thoughts…….. Contact me at abbe@TECResourceCenter.com

By

Do you ever feel like you just can’t let it go?

One of the hardest things for many managers is delegating. Most managers who don’t delegate have 4 basic perspectives:

  • The Perfectionist – clearly no one is going to do it better than me.
  • The Skeptic – no one will take the time and care I will to get it right.
  • The Pacifist – I don’t want to just dump things on them; they are already overloaded.
  • The Scaredy Cat – If I give it to them, it won’t be long until I’m out of a job.

 

let it go, management delegatingMost of us fall into these perspective traps at least one time or another in our management life, and they can be the kiss of death or at the very least, a burden. Here are some things that can help us let go of certain tasks and move on to bigger and better things.

For the perfectionist and the skeptic, you have to realize that sometimes it does not have to be exactly your way for it to be okay. Focus on the objective and challenge your staff to come up with new ways to meet that objective. Work with them to help them learn how to produce the quality output you desire so that you can build trust in them. Unlock the potential in your staff or consider making changes where necessary if you have the wrong people in the wrong slots.

The Pacifist has to take charge and realize the benefit of delegation to the employee and themselves. Even the most mundane tasks should be viewed as a learning experience. Find the benefit to the employee and you will feel less like you are dumping. If you are getting bogged down in the minutia of day to day work, chances are you are missing out on real management opportunities. Rolling up your sleeves when you need to is great, but as a general rule, your staff should be the doers and you should be overseeing.

And for those who fear you could be replaced if someone else can do your job, first realize that everyone is replaceable, and then find other areas that bring higher value to you and let your staff develop as well.

Work to change the way you think of delegation. If you can begin to see delegation as a development too, instead of a threat or something that will be perceived as dumping, you will be able to delegate with confidence. Once you feel confident, make smart choices on what you delegate and to whom. When you are looking for what to “let go,” think of the following 4 types of tasks that are perfect for delegating:

  • Repetitive work
  • Clerical tasks
  • Information collection
  • Meeting representation

To decide who to delegate a task to, conduct a brief analysis of your staff. List their strengths and weaknesses and then delegate accordingly. When you note a weakness, set development plans so they can grow and you can delegate tasks to them in the future.

And remember, delegating a task doesn’t mean you are no longer responsible for it. As a manager, you must set your people up for success and check in to make sure they are getting the delegated task done. In the end, the buck stops with you.

By

What did he just say?

Last week I heard almost the exact same story from 2 clients. One came from a high level executive, and the other from a Client Services Team from an entirely different company. The CEO from Company A told me that he had a meeting with his staff on a very important topic. He explained what he wanted done, asked if anyone had any questions, which they didn’t, and then left them to discuss other issues amongst themselves. Aftlearning to listener the staff meeting was over, one of his direct reports came into his office and asked for a moment of his time. She proceeded to tell him that after he left the meeting, everyone looked at each other and said, “Does anyone know what he meant?” No one had a clue as to what he wanted them to do. The CEO was shocked. He asked if anyone had any questions. No one spoke up.

The Client Services Team from Company B was taking part in a communication training class at my training center. We were discussing the importance of being clear when you communicate with coworkers and customers, and they asked, “What happens if your manager is the one who is not clear?” I asked them to elaborate. “She comes out, gives us some instructions and goes back into her office and no one has any idea what she wants us to do.” I asked them why they didn’t ask her for clarification. They looked back and forth at each other……. “We just talk about it amongst ourselves and try to figure it out.”

Two different companies, same scenario. Bravo to the one person who finally had the courage to tell the CEO in Company A what was going on. But the question remains, why is it so difficult to ask for clarification? When I asked the CSS Team from Company B why no one spoke up they shared things like, “I didn’t know if I was the only one who didn’t understand.” “I didn’t want to look stupid.” And, “I knew she didn’t want to hear it.”

She didn’t want to hear that you guys were going to spend the next 30 minutes trying to figure out what she wanted, and then cross your fingers that you got it right? I don’t think so. Managers are high powered, busy people. They often come across as short and stressed. It may seem like they don’t have the time to spend explaining things, but trust me, inefficiency is a bigger pet peeve. Have the confidence to ask smart questions to assure you got it right. 9 times out of 10, the manager does not realize that people don’t understand him. They are thinking at a higher level and coming from a place of greater knowledge. Help them to be a better communicator by professionally and assertively letting them know you need clarification.

Paraphrasing is a great way to show you were listening, but make sure you got it right. Instead of simply stating that you don’t understand or asking the boss to go over it one more time, try re-stating to the best of your ability and in your own words, what he just said. This sometimes helps the manager see where perhaps they were not clear. If you just ask them to go over it one more time, they probably will just say the same words again, because it makes perfect sense to them. Remember, if you really want to know what he just said, ask.

Thoughts???  Email me at abbe@TECResourceCenter.com

this was originally posted here

Recent Articles

Connect with TEC Online!

Contact Us

TEC Resource Center
Massapequa, NY 11758
Contact TEC
Phone: 631-963-4244